Behind Closed Doors
by tashaluffscolors
Summary: They may be know as the happiest characters of all time but no one exactly knows what are those crazy Disney characters are up to. Except me. And it's my duty to tell you what happens when the doors are closed.Chapter two is up!Finally
1. Mickey and friends

Note: I know some people are going to get mad at me because of this story. Let me state that I like Disney. I'm not a hater trying to bash the company. I'm using my imagination by writing what goes behind closed doors( I know there not real but anyway) so please don't accuse me of being a Disney hater.

Thanks- GTHK

Chapter One- Mickey and Friends

Mickey Mouse was sitting in his office responding to fan mail. Now, I don't know how much mail that he got but let's just say he got a crapload of mail. To Mickey dismay, The majority of the letters weren't letters written from hot babes from foreign and exotic countries saying to dump Minnie and marry them or drunk southern Catholics writing to him telling him he was unfit for the Catholic world and go to hell (That was for his amusement) but six year-olds who didn't know how to spell telling him he was there favorite cartoon character next to Spongebob Squarepants

Mickey was having trouble reading one particular letter. It was supposedly written by a five year old named Jeffery who was from Kansas. Mickey knew that Jeffery was a youngster but Jesus Christ! His handwriting was horrible! Worst than Walt Disney's!

Mickey (reading out loud): I lie you ? I think he's missing a K. (groans) Oh for god's sake! Did anyone teach this kid how to write?

While Mickey was whining about the misspelled letter, Daisy was walking down the hall, shaking her ass for everyone to see. Sure she was going out with Donald but she could still flirt with guys. What's wrong with that? It's not like he was going find out and besides it's not like she actually considered going out with the men she flirted with. Seriously, who would want to go out with ugly middle-age white guy who thought Donald Trump was god? Not Daisy. They had a lot of money but so did her man, The one and only Donald Duck. Donald was way more sexier than all of those ugly bastards. Even if he was dressed like a four year old from the 1930's.

When she was walking down the hall, She glimpsed at Mickey. She wondered if he was good at sex or not. Did he even had sex with Minnie. Minnie didn't even talk about sex these days. Maybe the last time they had sex was in the 50's and anyone knows that even if you mention the word "sex" back then everyone would look at you like you were some hooker. Kinda like today except Americans were having sex more than rabbits.

Mickey saw Daisy at the door. "God" he thought "Daisy is just desperate nowadays, Isn't she?". A while ago a rumor floated around Disney that Daisy had a one night stand with Daffy Duck in the mid 80's.There was also another part of the rumor that Daffy had an STD and gave it to Daisy. He also heard that Daisy was pregnant with Daffy child and when Michael Orvitz found out, he made her have an abortion. Mickey knew none of this was true but Donald went nuts when he heard this. Although, they were screen rivals, Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse were actually good friends but not Donald and Daffy. Every time there was a social party for toons, One of them would get drunk (Mostly Donald) and they would say mean things to each other that didn't even made sense. Then they would get in to a fight and then the host would ask them to leave. The next day it would be all over the toon's Tabloids and both of them would be the laughing stock of Toontown.

Mickey: Uh, hi Daisy.

Daisy: Well hello Mickey. Say, what are you doing here? It's a beautiful day outside. Don't cha think.

Mickey hoped that Daisy wasn't trying to coax him into having sex because she was doing a terrible job at doing so.

Mickey: Yes it is but I have to answer fan mail.

Daisy (looking at her nails): Why?

Mickey: Because I'm basically the only living and positive icon of America and if I fail my image, The U.S is screwed.

Daisy: Wow someone has a lot of confidence.

Mickey: Oh shut up Daisy! I actually think there are more positive icons out there besides me. Take Bugs Bunny for example.

Daisy: I not sure about Bugs. I mean did you hear that rumor about him sleeping with prostitutes.

Mickey: Well maybe I'm the only one.

Daisy: I wish Donald had much confidence as you do.

Mickey was disturbed when Daisy said this. Particularly because Daisy had a reputation for being a whore.

Mickey: Uh, Thank you

Daisy: Your Welcome.

None of them spoke for about two minutes. Then Daisy broke the silence with a spontaneous question.

Daisy: Me and Donald were supposed to go to dinner at Musso and Frank's Grill tonight but it's turns out one of his nephew's school play is also tonight, do you mind?

Mickey: Mind what?

Daisy: You know, Substituting for Donald

Mickey almost had a heart attack when Daisy said that.

Mickey: Gee Daisy, I don't know. Wouldn't that be kinda like a date?

Daisy: No. Were just friends. It's not like were going to holding hands and stuff.

Mickey: Well okay but don't dress up to much. I don't want the press to think were going out and stuff.

Daisy: Mickey, It's Musso and Frank's. Not your average family restaurant.

Mickey: I know that but just don't wear your best dress. That's all I'm saying.

Daisy: Alight then. See ya at 8'o clock!

As Daisy walked out of the office, Mickey sighed. "It's probably nothing"

he said trying to calm him self down. "Daisy's a friend. She just wants to have dinner. There's no sexual or romantic relationship between us. Nor is she a whore and this is one of her stupid plans to have sex with me". But what Mickey was saying wasn't exactly true. Let's just say, Mickey Mouse had no idea what would be in store for him tonight.

Minnie Mouse looked at herself in the full length mirror in her bathroom. She only had her underwear on (Including her bra.). She looked down at her self disgustingly. "Pig!" she screamed. Minnie didn't tell anyone this but since the 1960's Minnie was feeling a bit insecure about her weight. As you know, Minnie Mouse has no boobs and has a stick figure. She was proud of the way she looked but she didn't have a flat stomach. She first bitched to Daisy about this and Daisy suggested that maybe Minnie should start working out at the gym. She tried this for about five months but she wasn't losing weight (During that time, Minnie was going though this chocolate phase. She would eat nothing but chocolate which should explain her not so flat stomach. Yet she didn't realize this). Minnie was so desperate to loose weight. Maybe Mickey didn't find her attractive anymore because she was so fat.

Earlier that week, Minnie went to her doctor to ask him about her weight.

He told her that she didn't need to loose any weight (Yeah right) but if she wanted to she a couple of pounds, maybe she should stop eating less. Minnie loved that idea. She gave herself three days to eat whatever the hell she wanted. It was probably the most depressing three days ever but it was also fun. Today however, she would only eat a few fruits a day for the rest of her life. And maybe she would become a heroine to all the anorexic girls of America. Maybe even all those beautiful and foreign supermodels would tell the paparazzi that Minnie was the greatest cartoon character ever made. That might be a bad thing because no one understood what those supermodels were saying but still! She wouldn't be living in her boyfriend's shadow no more! She would not be know as a famous cartoon character girlfriend but an ICON!

Goofy was at home watching "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy". The show had lost some popularity since it first aired. In fact, Goofy never really liked that show in the first place but damn it, Nothing else was on! "I'm bored" Goofy yawned. He could've watched "Strange Love" on Vh1 but he saw all the episodes about ten times. So far in 2005,Goofy had nothing to do. Goofy thought the men on queer eye acted so gay. (I don't think Goofy even knew what queer meant.) One of the guys reminded Goofy of the men that his ex-wife used to hang out with( In case your wondering, The ex-wife is also Max's mom. She is anonymous and she will be referred to as the ex-wife

though out this fanfic). Then all of the sudden, He started to think about his ex-wife. Especially when she left him for a gay French guy. She was a total bitch but Goofy loved her. He wanted her back more than ever. He knew if here sat there, nothing was going to happen but he didn't know what to do.

After sitting there, Goofy finally got an idea. He went to his computer. Luckily for him, He still had his ex-wife e-mail address. Trying to act like she felt sorry for him (which she didn't), the ex-wife gave Goofy her e-mail address. Unfortunately, she never answered Goofy e-mails begging her to come back but that didn't stop Goofy. Instead of the typical weekly e-mail of Goofy whining like an WASPy upper eastsider girl being forced to shop at Sears, he invited her to come back to the U.S.A to visit her ex-husband and her son. But the ex-wife should being expecting a little more from her visit (If she ever comes) because Goofy decided to become homosexual.

Donald Duck has probably always been a buyer of Tylenol for a long time but no Tylenol could save him from he was having such a headache thanks to Huey Duey and Luey who were yelling like drunk football fans. There were Donald car driving home from Huey god awful school play. It was an Ester play which seen to be written by the guy who wrote "Gigli" not to mention Huey was a horrible actor. He only got the lead role because of his "Unca Donald" was Donald Duck and he appears in film shorts with his brothers. But lately, Huey acting skills had taken a turn for the worse. Huey kept bragging about he could be the next big thing. Then he yelled at his unca Donald to get him some ice cream for his "Breathtaking performance". Nevertheless, Donald stopped at the nearest ice cream stand.

While there, The triplets from hell took forever choosing which ice cream and ice cream toppings to get. Donald's headache got worse. It was so bad that Donald even asked an employee if he had any aspirin. Surprisingly, the employee said he usually did because his job made him deal with brats all day but he forgot to bring some. Donald knew it was a mistake to get the brats some ice cream because they were even more hyper than before. Donald thought he was going to die. Why? Why did his sister had to be an alcoholic and a cokehead? If she wasn't, the brats could of lived with their mother who happened to be a total bitch. And to think he could've been with Daisy having a romantic dinner with Daisy but no. He had to watch that retarded play. It was like watching Grace Kelly improve her acting skills.

As they got home, The triplets ran around the house for a while. When it was time for bed, the triplets jumped on their beds. Finally they were tried and went to sleep. Donald sat there, looking at them while they slept. He had it with them. He could kill if he wanted to. But that would ruin his career. Suddenly he got an idea.

A half an hour later, Donald was gone. So was the car. And there was a note on the kitchen table.

Mickey Mouse arrived at Musso and Frank's around eight-ish. There he found Daisy sitting at a two seated table. Nothing really went on until a waiter came to ask them what they wanted drink. Daisy offered Mickey to buy him some wine. Mickey was actually in the mood for a soda but he knew he was dining at a fancy restaurant, so he accepted Daisy offer. Everything seem to go okay until Daisy offered Mickey some more wine. Mickey didn't want anymore wine but getting drunk was probably going make him be in another world where he didn't have to hear Daisy boring talk about fashion.

Mickey had seven glasses and was so drunk. Daisy offered to take him home. Apparently car broke down right in front of her house. So she said she would take Mickey home in the morning. Daisy seemed to be a little bit drunk herself. Mickey was supposed to sleep on the couch but ended up sleeping in Daisy's bed. With Daisy!

What will Mickey reaction be in the morning? What was Daisy doing anyway? Will Minnie become too thin? Will everyone accept Goofy now that he's gay? And last but certainly not least, Where the hell did Donald go? All of these loose ends will come up in the next chapter!

Note: If you have any questions, please tell me. Also your allowed to leave negative comments but please say what you didn't like about my story or where do I need to improve on. Thank you so much for taking time out of my life to read my dumb story.-GTHK


	2. The next morning

Chapter two: The next morning (Part II of the Classic Disney character's saga)

Mickey Mouse woke up with a bad hang over. Thank god he was at home. He could make some of that special hang over juice Donald showed him a while back. He looked around the pink coded room. " This isn't my room" , Mickey though "So this isn't my house". He started to freak out. Where was he? Mickey suddenly remembered that this was Daisy's room. But what was he doing in Daisy room? What was he even doing in Daisy bed? Mickey thought about last night to see if it would explain anything he was doing here. Then it all came back to him. He was at Musso and Frank's with Daisy. He got drunk and Daisy offered to take him home. But then the car broke down in front of her house. So he decided to spend the night. He was going to sleep on the couch but Daisy invited him to sleep in her bed and OH SHIT, THEY DIDN'T!

Mickey rushed around the house to find Daisy. He found her in the kitchen making breakfast.

Daisy: Well, Good Morning Mickey.

Mickey: What the hell happen last night.

Daisy: What are you talking about, Mickey. We were at Musso and Frank's. Remember?

Mickey: No. No. I mean in bed.

Daisy had a twisted smile on her face.

Mickey: Oh shit, We didn't!

Daisy: Yes. We did.

Mickey: Fuck! Minnie gonna kill me!

Daisy: She won't find out.

Mickey: Yes she will!

Daisy; Donald doesn't know how many guys I sleep with besides him.

Mickey: That's because you're a whore and I'm not

Daisy: What did you say!

Daisy looked like she was going to kill him.

Mickey: Sorry. I'm just in a bad mood.

Daisy: Well, I can see why. Tell you what. We will never speak about this again. You don't mention a word to Minnie and I don't mention a word to Donald. Deal?

Mickey: Okay. God, I feel like crap.

Daisy: You probably got a hangover.

Mickey: Yeah, well if you didn't buy me so many drinks then-

Mickey suddenly got a horrible thought in his head. Maybe the reason Daisy brought him so many drinks because it would be easier to manipulate him into doing it with her. And wasn't a little suspicious that her car broke down right in front of her house?

Daisy looked at Mickey. He looked like he just died shock.

Daisy: Something wrong Mickey?

Mickey jerked his head to face Daisy. He jerked it so fast that it made Daisy jump.

Mickey: Yes, Daisy! Something is very wrong!

Daisy: Well, what is it?

Mickey: You had this all planned? Did you or did you not?

Daisy: What planned?

Mickey: Don't act cute Daisy. Didn't you buy all of those drinks for me so I wouldn't refuse to have sex with you?

Daisy: What the hell are you talking about!

Mickey: Come on! You know you kept offering me wine! You did it because I'd be okay with having sex with you.

Daisy: Mickey you know that isn't true. It's not-

But Daisy wasn't able to finish her sentence. She sighed deeply. It looked she was going to cry.

Daisy: Okay. I admit it. I did buy you alcohol for that reason. But if you were sober, I knew you were going say no.

Mickey: Well of course I would say no. I have a fucking girlfriend. Jesus, Daisy. I can't believe you took advantage of me.

Daisy didn't say anything

For ten minutes, No one said anything. Finally, Mickey walked out of the kitchen and up to Daisy bedroom.

Daisy: Where are you going ?

Mickey: To get dress.

Mickey was only in his underwear. The only clothes he had with them was his tuxedo he wore last night. He picked it up from the ground and before he knew it, He was already dressed. Then, He exit out of Daisy house by tiptoeing quietly. As soon he was out of Daisy's house, he ran to the only person he knew who can keep a secret: Goofy.

Goofy's house was a half a mile away from Daisy. Of course, All the important Disney characters lived in upper Toontown. Upper Toontown was like Bell-Air of Toontown. Very rich cartoon characters lived there. Upper Toontown might be a pleasure to look at because of it's expensive houses but since a lot of houses looked alike. It was very easy to get lost. It took forever to find Goofy's house but after a half an hour, Mickey finally found it. It was big white brick house. Goofy was a humble guy and wanted to live in cozy cottage instead but Michael Eisner said he should get a "big ass house." " You may be the white trash Disney character" Eisner once said to Goofy. " But I'm not letin' any of my characters live in a trailer park!". Mickey wanted to kicked Eisner's ass when he said this because, A: Just because Goofy had a southern accent didn't mean Goofy was white trash and B: Their were not Eisner characters. Walt created them. Everytime Mickey thought about that saying, he wanted to kick Eisner in the balls.

Mickey went up to the door and rung the doorbell. There, he waited impatiently. Finally, Max answered the door.

Max: Hey Mickey. How ya doing?

Mickey: Fine Max. Is Goofy-

Max: Say, you look like crap. What happen to you?

Mickey: I don't wanna talk about it.

Max: You looked like you fucked in the a-

Mickey: I SAID I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!

Max was speechless for a moment or two

Max: Sorry about that thing. Anyway, What do you want?

Mickey: Is your dad there?

Max: Yeah but I must warn you. The Goofy you once knew is now totally different.

Mickey was puzzled. Max just used the word "Totally". Was he a valley girl? Was he a secret transvestite? Mickey pictured max in lipstick, dress, stilettos, and breast implants. The thought scared Mickey so much that he screamed a high pitched scream.

Max: Are you okay?

Mickey suddenly realized that he dreaming and that he needed to talk to Goofy. Not thinking what Max's closet life was like.

Mickey: Uh yeah. What were we talking about?

Max: We were talking about my dad and how he changed in the last 24 hours.

Mickey: Oh. Well, how did he change?

Max: Let me show you.

Max open the door all the way to show Mickey what he meant. And when Mickey saw it, He almost died of shock.

Goofy's living room looked like a retro 60's bar minus the actual bar. Back in the 60's, The typical bachelor pad's living room was exactly like Goofy's living room but that was forty years ago, and a lot has changed back then. Nowadays the typical bachelor pad is very messy (like my room which my mom always complains about.) and had fifty beer bottles on the floor, with the playboy channel on the TV. So basically, the only people who would have a retro 60's bar pad minus the actual bar were gay men.

Mickey: So what happened to you father?

Max: I'll leave that for you to find out.

Mickey was quite annoyed with that answer.

Mickey: Why can't you tell me now?

Max: Because I'm late for school and-

But Max was cut off by a familiar yet different voice.

Goofy: Oh Maxi poo! Can't you stay for a little bit longer? You can help put daddy's face on.

Goofy came down the stairway in a Louis Vuittion night robe with Mui Mui slippers. The reason why Mickey knew what designers they were from was, well, um, let's just say he actually listened to Minnie and Daisy talk about fashion. I know. You must be thinking Mickey is totally in the closet but hey! Give the mouse man a chance will ya! It was either that or listening to Aladdin, Hercules, and Peter Pan talk which chick from America's Next Top Model they would like to "bang".

Anyway back to our story, Goofy came down the stairway in a Louis Vuittion night robe and Mui Mui slippers. Mickey just stood there in shock. Goofy 's face lighten up when he saw Mickey.

Goofy: Mickey! Mickey! Mickey! How are ya, Baby!

Goofy ran up to Mickey and then giving him a BIG hug. He smelled like lavender. Mickey thought lavender was a nice scent but he thought "Why the hell would Goofy smell like that? Usually, he smells like ravioli and cheese."

Mickey: Fine.

Goofy squeezed Mickey even harder. So hard that Mickey couldn't even breathe. All of the sudden, Goofy dropped Mickey on the hard wooden floor which made Mickey's ass hurt but a least he could breathe.

Meanwhile, Max stood there tapping his foot He had an annoyed expression on his face. "Uh, Dad?" He said in a moody tone. "Can I go now?"

Goofy turned around to see his teenage son trying to prefect the "emo" attitude. He smiled.

Goofy: Maxi Waxi. Where do you have to go today that's so important?

Max: School. Ever heard of it?

Mickey got up from the floor.

Mickey: School? Minnie told me you hanged out at the arcade all day, smoking weed, and hitting on thirteen year old girls.

Max (whispering): Mickey, Shut Up!

Goofy looked at Mickey. And then at Max.

Goofy: Is that true what Mickey just said?

Max: Of course not. Why would you ever listen to Mickey? For god's sakes! He even thought at one point that Gale Norton was sexy!

Mickey jaw dropped down to the floor.

Mickey: I never said that! That was Goofy!

Goofy: Shucks, oh I mean, You are so wrong Mickey baby! How can you ever think that I ever liked that old ugly hag? I don't even like women. I like men.

Mickey: Goofy, Why are you blaming me? You know that-

Mickey thought about what Goofy just said.

Mickey: Wait a minute. You're gay!

Max: Oh my god! Did you just realized that? Didn't you see his living room? What, You thought Elizabeth Taylor moved in?

Mickey: If Elizabeth Taylor moved in, This place would be jeweled crusted with twenty eight bottles of vodka and a bunch of sleeping pills on the coffee table!

Goofy suddenly glared at Mickey.

Goofy: Mickey! How dare you say that! Elizabeth is a goddess! You take that back! Besides, she always loved you.

Mickey: I wasn't trying to be rude. I was telling the truth. You know her house is like. We used to go there all the time. Why do you even like her so much? She doesn't even think about you a lot.

Goofy still had the same expression on his face.

Mickey: Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

Max decided he couldn't take anymore of this.

Max: I'm gonna go now.

Goofy: Okay Maxi woo! But before you go, give daddy a little Eskimo kiss.

Max looked like he was about to die

Max: I don't wanna do that!

Goofy (pouting): Oh come on. You wouldn't give your daddy a kiss even if your life depended on it, would you?

Max rolled his eyes.

Max: Okay, fine.

Goofy and Max engaged in some sort of Eskimo kiss. Mickey was trying his best not to laugh.

Max (to Goofy) : If you mention this to anyone, I'll show them that video of you imitating Britney Spears.

Goofy: Okey! Bye Maxi Baby!

But by the time Goofy finished his sentence, Max was gone.

Goofy: You that video he mention about me imitating Britney Spears? That wasn't me. That was him. He was at this party and he got so drunk, that he found some of his buddy's sister's slutly clothes, put them on, and sung "Hit me baby one more time". He was having so much fun until he found out that some one was video taping him. Nowadays, He says that was me instead oh him but deep down he knows that was him.

Mickey thought that was one of the strangest stories he ever heard of.

Goofy: Well, What are you waiting for you big silly goose? Come one, sit down on the couch.

"You mean the lime green couch with the words "Home sweet penthouse" across it?" Mickey thought. He took a seat. It was actually kinda comfortable. And it wasn't even that hideous either. It was way better than Goofy's old couch which he got from a garage sale. Not to mention that the old couch had puking stains from Ariel when she got drunk after drinking seven glasses of egg nogg at the 1998 Disney Christmas party which was held at Goofy's house.

Goofy: Can I get you some wine?

Wine was the last thing Mickey wanted. Hello? He had a huge hangover! Why would he want wine? But then again, Goofy didn't even know that.

Mickey: No thanks.

Goofy: What about some Zima?

Zima? Zima! Is that what he just said? For god sake, Goofy drank Corn liquor. Not Zima. And didn't Zima had alcohol in it?

Mickey: Water's fine.

Goofy came back with water for Mickey and Zima for him. Goofy sat down on the couch. He put his feet on the coffee table with Entertainment Weeklies and People surrounding them. Mickey couldn't keep inside the haunting question any longer.

Mickey: So, you're gay?

Goofy: Yep, uh, I mean you totally know that!

Mickey: So when did you find out you were gay?

Goofy : Just yesterday

Mickey: Yesterday?

Goofy: Yeah.

Mickey: When did you realize you were gay?

Goofy: Um, uh, well I was watching Queer is Folk um I mean Queer as Folk

and there was this guy and I thought he was hot so um yeah.

Mickey thought that story made no sense but if Goofy was gay, then why should he get mad? He shouldn't hold a grudge against his friend for being gay.

Goofy: So what brings you here Mickey?

Mickey forgot the whole reason why he was here. He needed to tell Goofy what happened. He didn't want to hurt Minnie or get Donald pissed (no one did.) but he couldn't keep it a secret between Daisy any much longer.

Mickey: Well you see, it all happened when………..

And so Mickey Mouse told the brave and daring tale that would probably be fit for a frat boy movie. He told that he and Daisy went to Musso and Frank's grill. And then he got drunk and told Daisy out loud that he once saw Daphne and Fred from Scooby Doo do it in the Mystery Machine. Then they drove to Mickey's house while Mickey sang We built this city by Starship on the top of his lungs while all four car windows were open. Then Daisy's car broke down right in front in her house. She persuaded Mickey to stay at her house. Mickey originally wanted to sleep on Daisy's overly pink couch in her overly pink living room but then a scandality clad Daisy said "Come on hot stuff, why don't you sleep in _my _bed tonight". Before Mickey could answer Daisy dragged Mickey to her bedroom and did more than shag his brains out. Way more. Even if I mention a small detail about what went on that night, There would be no doubt that I would be kicked out of immediately. Then the next morning, Mickey woke up with a massive hangover and found out that the only reason that Daisy brought him all his drinks was because she wanted to screw him.

Goofy didn't know what to say for a moment of two. He couldn't believe that Mickey and Daisy actually _slept _together. He decided to go with the best advice he could give.

Goofy: I think you tell Donald and Minnie about what happen.

Mickey: What! I can't do that! They would both kill me!

Goofy: Well, you can't keep a secret from them forever.

Mickey sighed. Goofy was right. Minnie was everything a guy was everything was could ask for. She didn't deserve to be cheated on. And Donald was a good friend too. Mickey felt awful that he slept with his best friend girlfriend.

Mickey: You're right. I need to tell them. Sure they'll get mad at me but hey. It's at least better than not being honest.

Goofy: You're a great friend Mickey. Come here. I wanna give you a hug.

Mickey hugged Goofy. Part of him felt like "I'm so happy that Goofy is always there for me. He such a good friend". The other part of him was saying "Dear god, please let this be over soon, This is so uncomfortable."

Finally, the five second hugging session was over. "Thank god" Mickey mentally added.

Goofy: Who do you think we should tell first. Minnie or Donald?

Mickey: I don't know. You wanna flip a coin?

Goofy: Sure. If can find one.

Mickey: Uh, I got one.

Mickey pulled out a shiny quarter.

Mickey: Okay, Minnie is heads and Donald is tails. Got it?

Goofy: Got it.

Every time Mickey would play Heads or Tails, he would always chose tails and somehow, he always won. He would rather much see Donald having a bitch fit like some chick who has bi-polar and PMSing at the same time rather than Minnie cry.

Goofy: I flip.

Goofy dramatically flipped the coin into the air.

Mickey (whispering): Tails. Please tails. Please tails. Please let it be tails.

The coin landed on the coffee table.

It was heads.

Mickey: Shit.

Five minutes later, Goofy and Mickey were riding in Goofy's brand new Mercedes. Just yesterday, before he decided to become "Gay" Goofy had a tow up truck. Mickey didn't even notice that Goofy got a new car because he had no idea what was gonna happen once they got to Minnie's house. What he going to say? How was she going to react? Would she dump him? All of these questions were bothering Mickey so much that he couldn't even face her without breaking down to tears. That's it! He'll call her.

Mickey: Goofy can I have you're cellphone. I need to call Minnie.

Goofy: Why do you need to call her?

Mickey: Because I can't tell her in person. I need to tell her over the phone.

Goofy: Okay Mickey. Here you go.

Goofy handed Mickey his cellphone.

Mickey: Thanks Goofy.

Mickey dialed his girlfriend's number. He waited for someone to answer the phone and just when he was about to hang up, Minnie answered.

Minnie: Hello?

But it wasn't Minnie sweet angelic voice. Instead, She sounded like she just finished throwing something up. Not to mention pissed. Yet Mickey didn't care what her voice sounded like. He was just happy to hear from her.

Mickey: Listen Minnie, I need to tell you something very important. Last night I-

HA. HA. HA. I'm so sorry I left you off there but I just had to do that! Anyway, The third and final chapter will arrive shortly of the Classic Disney Character saga. And then I'll move onto Disney films (and I mean that.).

I hope you enjoyed this interesting but pointless chapter and please review. Oh and speaking of reviews, It's time to respond to reviews I got in my last chapter! I know the people who review me last time aren't even reading this (They'll probably never read this) but I wanna answer there reviews anyway. Because I'm like that.

**Anonymous But Curious:** **Thank you for being my first reviewer! Yay! But seriously, In your review you mentioned that my story was a bit homophobic. I wanna thank you for pointing that out. I don't really want offend anyone of any race, gender, or beliefs ( Even though I have to admit my story is somewhat offensive.). Thanks a million. (Well actually a million and two if you really count.)**

**Sunrise 19: Thank you for your review! I really appreciated it. I plan to write a chapter devoted each Pocahontas, Beauty & The Beast, The Lion King, and Aladdin. It might take a while thought because I'm writing chapters in order in what Disney films came out first (Snow White, Pinocchio, Fantasia, Dumbo, Bambi etc.) but I'll try my best to update soon as possible. Thanks again for the review. PS. And thanks for the complement for my pen name. I got it from Chicago( My favorite movie of all time) In the movie Lucy Liu character, Kitty kills her boyfriend and she goes to jail and yells " GO TO HELL" to the reporters. In Broadway show of Chicago, They call Kitty "Go To Hell Kitty" because she yells "Go To Hell" at people. And that's how I got my name.**

**That's Really Nobody's Business: Thanks for your review. It made me smile. I'm so sorry I didn't use that idea of yours. I really liked it but I was to lazy to change it because I'd already written that part by the time I got you review. Anyway, thanks for your review!**

**ChrisV: I was having a really crappy day when I got your review. When I read it, I made me feel a whole lot better. Thank you for doing that**

**ZatchBell91: Thanks for the review! Were you born in 1991? I was, so I'm just wondering.**

**Neo Mog-317: Thanks a lot for your review. About Robin Hood, I'm planning to make a chapter devoted to every animated Disney film. There's no doubt I'll include Robin Hood in my story. I never seen Redwall but I see it, I consider doing a Redwall fic like this**

**Augustismybestfriend: So I took you advice and finally started updating again. Thanks for your review**

**Mam: Actually Goofy isn't really gay. He's trying to get his ex-wife back which probably isn't gonna workout but you have to admire him for trying. Thanks for the review, btw.**

**PeanutsFan: I would never kill off Mickey because then I would have no story. Unless the Disney gang goes to Timbuktu to visit a witch doctor to see if they can bring Mickey back to life and.. Okay, this is getting out of hand but thanks for your review.**

**Private Tamama: For somebody who claims to have "class" , you seem very rude. I'm not sure if a person with such "class" would even write such a nasty review but that's just me.**

**Authur: After Private Tamama "lovely" review, I started to feel a little bit down but you're review made me feel so much better. Thanks a million! **

**JohnnyGurl789: Rosie! I'm so glad you liked my story. You're such a great friend when it comes to other friends FanFics, unlike Tatiana. Oh and by the way, thanks for the concert! And the review!**


	3. Ok, so here's the deal

Ok, so here's the deal. I know it has been a year since I updated but that doesn't mean that I've totally forgotten about it. Bu looking back, I kinda think the first chapter is crap (Not the second one though. That one is pure brilliance). So therefore, I'm gonna delete the whole thing. BUT before you get all pissed at me, I'm actually gonna re-write chapter one. The writing style is gonna be totally different but it all the major themes will be intact (i.e. Goofy being gay; Donald's disappearance; Daisy raping Mickey and so on). The only thing that will change about chapter two is that it won't be written in script form and I correct the few grammatical errors. Also, the classic Disney character saga will go on for at least five chapters. Then, I go on to write the Winnie the Pooh one. Then, I will write about the fucked up adventures of the characters of Disney movies. I won't do any movie in particular order but I try my best the write about all the Disney animated movies. I will have this up until I re-write the first chapter, which hopefully won't be that long. And one more thing, The new story will now be called **Sex, drugs, and Disney **rather than **Behind Closed Doors**.

Thank you for your time

Love,

Phoenix Hell Kitty A.K.A Natasha (me real name) :P


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